Become a mother in 4 years

It was just about the time I was going to
upload my blog when a friend of mine just uploaded her blog. She wrote that she is going to give a birth within 24 hours and it's her first baby.
At that time, I was writing my blog about an experience of 4 years because I just felt that people are really able to be different in 4 year, their habits, thoughts, circumustances and so forth.
I strongly feet it when I look back my past 4 years. Also, I assure that happened to my friends as far as I know about them. A woman who just uploaded the blog before me is one of them. Her life has been changed a lot from what I know in 4 years ago. Now she is about to become a great mother. 

Being a mother is such an amazing, primitive, essential event as human being that was given to only women.
She is going to create a 'birthday' for a person.
She, as a musician friend, gave me so many beautiful and spiritual moments. I cannot thank enough. I personally know that she had some serious and difficult situations for her life.
But now I'm so happy for her that she could overcome these obstacles and finally become a mother.

What kind of person are you going to be in 4 years from now?

4年経ったら

気がつけばいつもブログが後回し。
最後になんかまとめるようにやってくる。
本当はもっと頻繁に更新したほうがいいんだろうけど、そうそうしょっちゅう自分の内側に入っていけるゆとりはないし、そうでなきゃそこらのタレントみたいに無駄に行を費やして、書いている内容は140文字のツイッターみたいになってしまう。

まとめるタイミングが必要だ。

今日はお気に入りのバーで歌ってきた。行き始めた頃よりその場にいることそのものに緊張しなくなったし、居心地がよくなってきたように思う。

そこに行けば、知っている人に会えるし、気心が知れた友達もいる。同じように音楽を愛する人に会うことができる。

色んな世代の人に会うこともできる。
これからの人、ひと通りやってきた人、別の道で突き進みながらその場に立ち寄る人などなど。

見ていて本当におもしろいなと思う。

こんな生き方できるかな、とか。
どうやったらこんな人生になっていくのかなとか。
彼はこれからどうなるのかなとか。

そんな風に漠然と考えたり。

人生は一瞬では変わらないけど、4年もあれば結構違ったものにできると思う。
4年前の自分がこんな風に生きているとは想像できなかったように、大抵の方々も4年前の自分と今の自分は随分違うんじゃないだろうか。

それは僕のような世代の人たちだけかな。

どうでもいいけど、夜中にファーストフードのお店に寄って、小腹を満たそうなんてのも、今となれば当たり前のように(罪の意識を感じながら)できるけど、そんなことにだって随分緊張したもんだ。

君の4年間はどうだったかな？
あと4年経ったら僕たちみんなどんな風になっているかな。

年の瀬が近付いてきて少し感傷的になったかもしれない。

11月のとある日。

The Birthday Brother

Yesterday was my oldest brother’s birthday.

I have a family of five. My parents and my brothers are all in Japan. When my friends in Canada ask me, "Do you miss your family?" I answer, "Not really though I miss my friends in Tokyo."

I think it's just because of my personality and the circumstance I grew up in. It's not neglect or hatred whatsoever. I love my family and I respect each one of them. But I don't miss them as much as I miss my friends I met in Tokyo. I assume my family also feels the same way as mine. We are comfortable with taking a certain distance among the family as long as they live independently and keep being healthy. I really appreciate it and I even feel lucky to have them as my family.

When it comes to the relationship among family, there are various types of relationship in the globe. I have never had any kind of serious issues, conflicts and so forth with my brothers or my parents. But I still don't miss them. We are just not that close. I clearly remember lots of fond memories I shared with when I was a kid. But at the same time, it’s easy for me to think of bad memories happened when I was with them as the youngest of the five.

A family is such a special and interesting relationship. My family taught me a society through life experience and treated me with deep affection in their own ways. I'm sure that my fundamental character is given by them.

When I listened to one of my favorite songs, it recalls my oldest brother to my mind. He's the one who told me about this great musician. I never imagined that I would have been listening to it over decades. He led me to the world of music not only by listening to his favorites in our dining room when we lived together but also by singing with the guitar in front of me.
If I recommend you even one song before, it's because I really like you. That's what my oldest brother did to me and I loved it.

Happy birthday, my brother.